What’s normal to feel during a significant life change like separation/divorce?

Separation or divorce can turn our life and often our long term dreams upside down.  It is a pivot in our personal life, which is a fundamental change in our life strategy that can bring you to the depths of despair and loneliness. We can experience waves of emotions such as angry, sad, anxious, hurt, embarrassed, happy and relieved.  It is a new world for many to feel or even face and deal with these emotions that they may have never felt before.

 ‘Change is hardest in the beginning, messy in the middle and best at the end ‘– Robin Sharma.

What are the stages of change that someone might experience?

Addressing the stages of change in a healthy way often looks like this:

 1. Start where you are by expressing the event, feel the pain, name it, own it and understand and be gentle with your emotions. 

2. Assess and take stock of where we are now at, and learn the stages of grief so you can feel supported as you understand that you will have to go through the stages, and then develop your immediate survival plan. 

3. Change continues on as you start the healing journey and once ready, you are able to start and plant some new seeds as you find your new normal. 

How do you navigate these stages of change in light of separation?

• Stage 1 – Recognises and Respond – Stop and breathe, acknowledge your feelings and fear, embrace grief and choose your story
• Stage 2 – Restore and Recover – Sink into self care, renew and refuel, open the path to positivity and relinquish the past – know that you have got this
• Stage 3 – Redirect and Reset – Rebuild your foundation, plant new seeds, create a new roadmap with fresh vision for your life and start being the change you wish to see
• Stage 4 – Rejoice and Radiate – Embark on the journey, Embrace some joy again, claim back your personal power and celebrate your new wins.